Open Link #74 Submitted to Poets & Storytellers United, June 13, 2021. Vintage advertising has always fascinated me, with its use of words lost in the pages of time. The word "costiveness" in this ad is one such word...one to be listed in my book of oddities.
Browsing the antique shop, I came across one of those vintage advertising fans they used to hand out in funeral homes. This one featured a couple of adorable kittens and was presented by Carter’s Little Liver Pills. “LIVERITA“, it says on the back “Best for Stomach, Liver and Bowels. $500 REWARD. We will pay the reward for any case of Liver Complaint, Dyspepsia, Sick Headache, Indigestion, Constipation or Costiveness we cannot cure with Liverita, the up-to-date Little Liver Pill, when the directions are strictly complied to. They are purely vegetable and never fail to give satisfaction. The 25 cent boxes contain 100 pills, 5 cent boxes contain 15 pills. Beware of substitutions and limitations. Sent by mail. Stamps taken.” Of course I bought this bit of history.
Imagine! A $500 reward if cure fails. Try to get such a guarantee from your friendly physician today. Wouldn’t that shock him right out of his stethoscope! A hundred pills for a quarter! Seems like the cost of feeling good has certainly escalated. Megabucks are spent annually on the health care industry in the United States today. The cost of health care is prohibitive and politicians are debating solutions. They should ask me. I have the solution right here at home….on the back of a fan.