Frank has presented the polyptoton,
to be included in our poetic effort.
I fear I'm in the midst of a dance
macabre this week, thus my poem.
Submitted October 24, 2019
here and there they sit
helped or helpless, wheelchair bound
thoughts skewed and hair askew
vacant eyes, devoid of hope
helped or helpless, wheelchair bound
thoughts skewed and hair askew
vacant eyes, devoid of hope
once alive, now lifeless
the journey a road trip to hell
Tardy Death, you come too late
they have already gone
Very nice last two lines filled with sorrow. Nice use of polyptotons to describe them.
ReplyDeleteBeverly, one of your best I've read. Such feeling here, such sorrow. How we treat our elderly is a shame. Even death doesn't escape your lament. Excellent use of the polyptotons.
ReplyDeleteThis is sorrowful. My mother was in a skilled nursing facility before she died. I must say, the workers treated the patients like solid gold. The patients were in the tbroes of dementia but yet, they were treated to goid food and activuties every other day. I visited with my mother every day. I wheeled her all over the place and everyone got to know us. I took her outside in the enclosed garden let her enjoy the wild birds that flocked to the garden. Mama was happy there. Happier than in our home where she often became disoriented and sad. But at the facility, she was happy. This poem is one of your best. I worked hard to get her into the facility and paid out the noze for her care. I do not regret a penny.
ReplyDeleteI wrote my poem on the heels of visiting a dear friend, in early stages of dementia, recently admitted to a memory care center. It is written for those who have no family support to supplement the need for affection and attention to small daily needs, who sit day after identical day in their lost world, their spirits already gone and their bodies merely a shell waiting for Death to collect it. Obviously your mother was not one of those, and she had daily doses of your love and attention. God bless you for being a caring and attentive daughter! I am sorry if my poem offended or upset you.
DeleteInterestingi approach to the polyptoton here Bev — I enjoyed this, �� Much feeling and strong sincerity. Loved thus!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Rob. I had just visited a friend recently admitted to a care center with dementia. My visit left me with a feeling of overwhelming sadness.
DeleteYour poem touches a still-raw nerve, Bev. You’ve written about a memory of my mum that I am trying to forget – so accurate and so heart-breaking, especially ‘thoughts skewed and hair askew’.
ReplyDeleteSorry if my poem touched a raw nerve, Kim. It was written after a visit to a dear friend, recently admitted to a memory care center, and written for those who have no loving family member to visit and tend to small miscellaneous needs. Obviously your mum was not one of those. God bless you for being a loving daughter!
DeleteVery sad to die before you are dead!
ReplyDeleteLoved this one: thoughts skewed and hair askew
Your use of the polyptoton absolutely worked to enhance the power and punch of your words. Particularly appreciate the "skews." Last line is fabulous. I've had this same experience visiting such places - sadly, you captured it very well.
ReplyDeleteonce alive, now lifeless - that is a very sad image. I had a relative in a nursing home. He was alive but, you could see the lifelessness in his eyes. He simply chose to let death take him away.
ReplyDeleteThis is really touching... and I do remember my mother at the last stage of her life...
ReplyDeleteVery tender, and wonderful use of polypoton.
ReplyDeleteThe fate of too many of our old ones. There is a tenderness to your words that underlies the sadness.
ReplyDelete