Monday, April 17, 2017

FEAR

It's Haibun/Haiku Monday at dVerse
and we're challenged to feature something
we fear.   My haibun's a bit wordy.  Forgive me!
Submitted April 17, 2017

My mother taught me so many valuable lessons.  I am forever grateful.  However, she taught me one lesson I could have lived without.  She had a dreadful fear of water. Edgar Cayce, known as the Sleeping Prophet, believed that many of our fears and ills are karma from previous lives. In that case, I often wondered about my mother’s previous lives.  Perhaps, I thought, she was a relative of Noah’s who fell from the ark and drowned in the great flood; or perhaps an Egyptian handmaiden who tumbled from Cleopatra’s barge and was swept away by the waters of the Nile.   Perhaps she was an Indian maiden in Chief Tecumseh’s village who fell into what is now Reelfoot Lake, created by the New Madrid earthquake in 1811; or maybe she was a passenger on the Titanic.. 

These are only some of the things I considered that might have caused Mother’s fear of water.  Whatever the cause, she managed to transfer that fear to me quite nicely.  For the most part, it wasn’t a problem, because the only water near our farm was a meandering, gurgling little creek that one could wade across, except on occasion in the Spring rains when it became a raging torrent.  There was a community pool in the town 13 miles from our farm, but of course that was never on  Mother’s travel schedule.   I remember a picnic with another family on the banks of a river somewhere in middle Illinois.  The father of the other family had brought along an inner tube to allow his children to float on the river.  My mother reluctantly allowed me to join in, but only after she warned me to hold tight, lest I be swept under the murky waters, carried away by the current and ultimately spit into the ocean at the mouth of the mighty Mississippi.  I clung to that inner tube with a ferociousness that has since never been outdone. 

Fate took me to Miami, Florida, in my 20’s, and of course that meant the beach and the ocean.   I purchased my first bathing suit and tiptoed into the Atlantic at South Miami Beach.  It was great fun … so long as my feet touched bottom.   Friends tried to teach me to swim, but I could never manage to swim and turn my head to breathe at the same time, so I could only paddle as far as I could hold my breath.   The long bridge over Tampa Bay is a lesson in courage for me, the mere thought of an ocean cruise gives me the vapors,  even flying over water causes anxiety.   I’ve tried very hard not to pass Mother’s fear to the next generation, and took my children for swimming lessons, managing to curb my fear when the instructor took them to the deep end of the pool.   I’m very proud to say both can swim, and my grandchildren seem to have no fear of water.  Hopefully, I have broken the tradition for the next generation….but deep water still scares me!

Spring is in the air
Flowering trees burst with bloom
Wonderful feast for the eyes

16 comments:

  1. You are forgiven for writing such a "wordy" haibun. it is excellent. I too wonder about the karma of your mother regarding deep water. Maybe she was just simply dunked as a child or almost drowned. My grandmother was equally frightened of deep water. My mom was fearless. I am frightened of deep water. I remember being at the club pool and of course, I didn't have my glasses on! one of the older boys cornered me and thought it was great sport to dunk me under the water until my mother saw him and grabbed him by his hair and shook him like a big dog will shake a toy. She rescued me but...I am still frightened of being in water that is past my knees. I sympathize.

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  2. It's strange how fear can be passed on. Both my mother and I inherited agoraphobia from my grandfather. However, I know where his came from. His parents and three sisters all died as they tried to get out of a building in the Blitz and for the rest of his life he was afraid to leave home. It took a good therapist to get me into a supermarket and then to travel on trains and buses. I'm still n o good with crowds though.

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  3. My youngest is terrified of water. Fear of drowning seems to be very common.

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  4. I can relate to that fear as my mother also had a fear of water and she was not a good swimmer. Thankfully, like you, my children are good swimmers. And I love that spring is in the air now ~

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  5. I can't swim either. It wouldn't surprise me if I were that that I was one of those people who weren't allowed in Noah's Ark.

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  6. Wonderful writing! By the way, I go the long way around, refusing to cross the Sunshine Bridge - totally get that one! That's part of the appeal of Orlando:) Thank you for sharing!

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  7. I grew up in this water-filled state swimming in lakes, pools and the ocean frequently but when I think of the depths and strength of the ocean I can make myself jump out of my skin with fear!

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  8. You have good reason to fear Miami Beach. I used to go out off Rickenbacker causeway to fish and skin dive etc. I thought how much fun it was until a big school of tarpon swam by me one time. I didn't even see them in the murky water until they were passing my face mask. Last time I ever dove. I don't know, your argument has made me yield to caution.

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  9. Glad you broke that chain of fear...I nearly drowned once or twice but enjoy the water now!

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  10. Fear of water....you aren't the only one, Bev. Large areas of it scare me, a stream is lovely. It's all in the dimensions I think. And it takes a lot of something to get over the fear of water. I have always been afraid of drowning. Good reading you, Bev. Jane

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  11. Wordy & wonderful, Bev. I was OK with ponds, lakes, & pools, though I was a self-taught poor swimmer--but the ocean--no way. That kind of deep water terrifies me--& I was in the Navy (made sure I was landlocked). Like Caye, I believe I drown mid-sea somewhere in a previous life.

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  12. Your haiku offers such lovely hope after all that fear. And I'm so glad you have broken the cycle, for the next generation.

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  13. Fear of water prevents one to enjoy a boat journey! One is averse against getting into something that moves in water even a big ship!

    Hank

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  14. I remember spending most of my summer days swimming at the local pool. Swimming wasn't an issue, but I didn't like the deep end, and no diving boards for me. I suppose even things we don't fear have limitations. I love the flowering trees in your haiku.

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  15. Having been raised on the water and boats, I am amazed to find out over the years of how many folks are just like you --scared of deep water. Love your story -- but ending with pretty Haiku.

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  16. I don't mind water in general but deep water...that's another story. Nice write Bev.

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