write a poem of questions.
Submitted to dVerse
September 19, 2017
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How are you, we ask …
Do we really want to know
or is it just another way to say hello?
Are we too busy to listen
or merely too self-absorbed?
Could we save someone’s life
merely by listening to words unsaid?
Could we make the world a better place
simply by each taking time to care?
Can we ever learn the power of one?
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I so remember those questions... and I learned so soon that the only answer was to say you where fine... and ask the same back... I wonder what would happen what would happen if you started to tell that you were depressed and sad...
ReplyDeleteThere are times when asked how I am, that I begin the list of aches, pains, & irritants plaguing me at that moment. It never goes over well, because you're correct, the inquiry is rote & cursory.
ReplyDeleteI love the last line. I think we have to to really know ourselves. If we really want to ...
ReplyDeleteSome questions are ways to say hello. Listening to them or even unsaid questions may be the first step in the best way to answer the questions.
ReplyDeleteGood questions. I have sometimes answered with, "Do you really want to know?" :)
ReplyDeleteBjorn's right. If you tried telling others how you really were, their eyes would just glaze over. A sad world we live in. By the way, how are you ? :)
ReplyDeleteCourtesies seem to be a part of the human condition. I like to think the words have energy and impact even if they are said by rote.
ReplyDeleteDo we really want to know? I think sometimes we do and sometimes we don't.
ReplyDeleteGood question, Bev. Some people need us to ask how they are while others don't but it's hard to know which are which. Better to ask them all than to ignore some, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteThank you Bev, good reminder. When we ask, "how are you," we are often measureing how we are. So, you are not so good, makes me know I feel better.
ReplyDeleteI think that if we really want to know, we'll have to start asking a new question. That old one has died.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting to think that we Chinese don't ask “how are you” casually. Once that is asked we expect to spare a minute to exchange personal updates. The cliche in our region is “have you eaten”, which we always answer “yes”. Regardless of the different sayings, genuine thoughts for others has been something I've been chewing on. Only earlier this week I was writing to a friend ... “Don't ask why when your loved one jumps off a building. Don't ask why when a marriage in the family fails. Don't ask why when someone you know commits a crime or takes another person's life. If we need to ask, it means we haven't really cared in the first place -- not until the unexpected consequences beckon our curiosity.” Yet, of course, it's a hundred times easier to spot the mote than the beam in my eye. Anyway, thank you for your thoughtful poem, Ms Bev.
ReplyDeleteThat's really interesting....I have felt this many times...loved your last line!!
ReplyDeleteThe power of one is within us all, in all its variations, Beverly. How nice of you to ask! Your one is expressive!
ReplyDeleteMy feeling is that if you're going to say "how are you?" to anyone, make sure you have time for a little chat. Just hate it when cashiers ask that question and don't really care, but are trained to ask as a matter of courtesy. Hi or hello is good enough for me. Olga
ReplyDeleteI particularly like your last question about the power of one...a sense of personal impact can go a long way...
ReplyDeleteIs it still a question if you don't want an answer? Great questioning here.
ReplyDeleteLATE to the reading :( On Cape Cod for two weeks...didn't even have time to write for OLN...but, I'm back! :) LOVING these questions. I used to teach interpersonal communication classes and we always talked about the importance of listening...and the "trap" of phatic communication which is exactly what you've written about. A person says, "How are ya?" And we automatically say, "Okay" or something like that and "How are you" back to them. It's an automatic! Imagine what would happen on the street, or in your neighborhood, if someone, in passing said "hi how are you?" and you stopped dead in your tracks and said, "I'm so glad you asked, My back has been killing me the last two weeks and my daughter is having trouble with algebra....etc etc" They'd be dumbfounded! Phatic communication...automatic. And oh yes, we need to listen more! :)
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