Thursday, June 1, 2017


When I was a child, my clothes were made
from print feed sacks.  No small wonder, then,
that the "Who are you wearing?" on the red
carpet leaves me askance.  My poem today
addresses the issue.
Submitted to dVerse  Open Link
June 1, 2017


I think the fashion designers
Must laugh behind closed doors
At the way we dance to their music
As we go about our chores.
We clamor for Jordache
And line up for Calvin Kleins
When K-Mart specials could just as well
Cover our behinds.

Gloria Vanderbilt’s into sheets now
With colors so pretty and bright
She knows we’d sleep just as well
Beneath J.C. Penney white.
The measure of a man, they say,
Is the emblem on his sox.
What possible difference can it make
If it’s an alligator or running fox?

Some live in mortal terror
Of Blackwell’s worst-dressed list
When they could be just as happy
If it simply didn’t exist.
For the proper running wardrobe
The joggers fuss and fret
When an old sweat suit could do the job
Of soaking up the sweat.

We need one wardrobe for tennis
Another one for golf
If we wore tennis whites to the golf course
Do you think we could tee off?
Being well-dressed strains our budgets
But I guess it’s our own fault.
They play the tune, we pay the bucks
And they take them to their vault.

I picture them all in conference,--
Cassini, Bill Blass and Chaus
Coming up with the proper wardrobe
To wear while cleaning the house.
While Pierre Cardin and Christian Dior
Are thinking equally hard
What the well-dressed suburbanite
Should wear while mowing the yard.

I think we should all rebel
And stand firm and strong in our boots
And tell them henceforth we’ve decided
Just to wear our birthday suits.


  1. Ha.. yes that would be something... (but I just thought of the naked president and realized I love fashion...)

  2. I love the tone of this and yes we must make them pine!

  3. So much truth in this...we are being royally bamboozled...and it was fun to read too!

  4. New life goal: Mow lawn in Dior! Fun poem, most people are suckers, if not about clothes then cars, home decor, or something else.

  5. I really don't like designer clothes at all, Bev. I'm an old hippy at heart and would be happy to rebel, if only my birthday suit wasn't so old, baggy and creased!

  6. I think we should all rebel
    And stand firm and strong in our boots
    And tell them henceforth we’ve decided
    Just to wear our birthday suits........gosh....superb!

  7. So sorry, unexpected visitors last night have made me rather late in responding to your piece. A greta statement Bev... And finished with the killer punch - Inspired indeed...

  8. Ha! Thanks for the giggle this morning, Bev. I've never been big on fashion. I have zero fashion sense and not willing to pay designer clothes prices. I pretty much live in my pajamas unless I have to go out, and then it's jeans and a t-shirt. :)

  9. Love this!! And if the fashion conscious really want to flaunt it, don't you think the labels should go on the outside?

  10. The best dressed are those who put the most thought into the odds and sods they pick up on the flea market and in the charity shops :)

  11. I enjoyed this Bev crowned by the laugh at the end. We have truly been seduced by novelty and invented needs and could certainly waste less fabric. Your poem's name dropping is highly entertaining.

  12. Too many clothes when all we need are just the basics ~ I say go for minimal wear instead of the birthday suits, smiles ~

  13. Ha, Bev, this one is FUN! Fig leaves, anyone?

  14. But I guess it’s our own fault.
    They play the tune, we pay the bucks
    And they take them to their vault

    Exactly Bev! Vanity plays its evil odds and flaunting the colors and fashions done us off. Love your humor!


  15. Imagine those days when one wore the same tunic all year long! What a marvellous poem to probe into the vanity of modern wardrobes, Bev. The levity here is as entertaining as it's enlightening.

  16. Yes, that designers can slap tin foil on some waify girl and demand a pretty penny, we'd all be better off restoring Eden-wear.

  17. Cool rant, IndyBev!
    I've lived in so many countries and followed so many bizzarre contrary fashions, that I am no longer hypnotized to do the dance (a nice metaphor, btw). Nice rhyming to make a point that shouldn't need to be made. Well done.

  18. So real Bev. That truth of what matters is far from what one wears, yet our society has placed such value more value even then life itself I fear...bkm

  19. My wardrobe consists of clothing that fit, and didn't cost too much. Love the rant!

  20. Excellent. so glad to have grown out of fashion, and into my own personal style (sort of...)