Frank meets us at the bar with a request for a villanelle,
which I consider to be a rather Machiavellian format,
akin to the dreaded "story problems" I abhored in school,
which, after circuitous route, ended in "How many people
were on the bus when it reached Topeka?" or some such.
Nonetheless, I offer my feeble attempt ... my first villanelle.
Submitted to dVerse Poetics
June 22, 2017
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So many gods, so many creeds
So many ways to go astray
When love is all this old world needs.
Men fall victim to misdeeds
Power and money call their name
So many gods, so many creeds
Careless for the urge he feeds
Man seems powerless to resist
When love is all this old world needs
Never guessing where it leads
The chosen path, the destiny
So many gods, so many creeds.
Wanting only to fill his needs
With no regard for implications
When love is all this old world needs.
Careless of the voice he heeds
Stumbling onward toward his plight
So many gods, so many creeds
When love is all this old world needs.
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A blog for the midnight epiphanies and idle thoughts of a hopeless wordaholic.
It should be so easy... and I'm afraid in the end the need is another word for greed.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to use greed, but was hung up on pleural forms and couldn't figure out how to fit it in!
DeleteI liked the message: love is all we need. I also liked the sound of the tetrameter line. It doesn't sound as wordy as the pentameter line.
ReplyDeleteNicely done for one who finds the form torturous :) The challenge and beauty of repetative forms like this and the Pantoun, is in finding that turn of phrase that can be read more than one way. You have done it admirably.
ReplyDeleteAll you need is love. I'm a big Beatles (Lennon/McCartney) fan, so this resonates with me Beverly. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI love your message: When love is all this old world needs.
ReplyDeleteYes, we need love, beyond so many Gods and creeds ~ Congrats on your first villanelle Bev!!
Excellent.
ReplyDeleteI completely concur with the content of your poem, and agree that there is more urgency in the tetrameter line. I like using tetrameter in villanelles also. Ideally all the middle lines should rhyme with one another as well, making the final quatrain a nice fit of the two rhyme schemes. But as it's your first villanelle, kudos for going for it. A poem is a poem on its merit, and rules are meant to be broken! So good work here.
ReplyDeletePreaching to the choir, it seems, dear Bev. For most to the MTB & FFA prompts. I usually fall short of perfection--but the joy is in the doing, right?
ReplyDeletelove is all the world neeeds!! absolutely!!! Agree about the form--like a story problem..ha ha!!!!:)
ReplyDeleteI believe you had a hard time with this because I really did too, but it flows very easily- you make it look easy!
ReplyDeleteIt is effortlessly done Bev, form and content both.
ReplyDeleteI love that first stanza. Says it all.
ReplyDeleteThe villanelle is one of my favorite forms but it is a tough one. You did an excellent job with this, Bev. I love the sentiment. I dreaded those word problems in school, too. They still baffle me to this day.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Villanelle Beverly. Hank finds it a challenge to venture in and have great admiration for a well written one
ReplyDeletehttp://imagery77.blogspot.my/2017/06/ever-remembered-when-one-was-in-nursery.html
Hank
This was a joy to read.
ReplyDeleteI do agree!
ReplyDeleteLoved the rhyme and its rhythm - the breaking in two of the first line works so well
ReplyDelete